Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
