the condom got lost in my hair
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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