he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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