He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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