The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
