i don't plan on having that self control this summer
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
