I can't watch pbs sober anymore
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
