I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Randomize