So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
