The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He kissed a someone with a penis
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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