i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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