I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Randomize
