I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
