Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
