did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Randomize
