I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
