I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
