I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She told me I should be a condom model.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
