im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
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Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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