Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
