Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
