Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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