it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
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And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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