i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
