we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
