i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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