i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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