The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
