it's not cheating when I paid for it
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He passed out mid-signature
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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