i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
