that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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