That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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