I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
