Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
