Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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