smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
