Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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