You're so nebulous sometimes
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
