its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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