we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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