new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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