Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
