I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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