five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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