Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
