why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize
