i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
These tits shall not be calmed
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
