loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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