when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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