I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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