ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize