my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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