I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I need water and some morals
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
