i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
