If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize