Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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