awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
