i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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