I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
