Non-Jews are for practice
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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