i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
