I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize