I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
