i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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