it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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